And “Happy Belated Valentine’s Day” – hope you managed to get your ends away, cos that’s what it’s all about isn’t it? It’s the one day of the year when you can hope for a piece of crotch. If you didn’t get any, so what – it’s only a year to go till the next one.
Hi guys
And a happy new year! I got absolutely bladdered. It’s not every year you get to celebrate a new decade and this was my first as a ‘proper’ grown-up.
It was a case of out with the old and in with the old.
Hi guys
Hope you got a proper stuffing over Crimbo. My ‘personal trainer’ is making sure I’m nice and oiled so that when I’m back ‘at work’, I’m in tip top condition. It’s a messy job but someone’s got to do it. And I do enjoy our work-outs, not least because he’s giving me a thorough clear-out which, incidentally, is what I need to do with my room.
Hi guys
Have you been reading the gossip on poor old Tiger? Talk about busted. This is one cat who’s been dogging around but who would have thought it? He looked like the sort of guy who would have got his butler to cum for him he was that posh. But now we know different.
From a erm, ahem, professional point of view, he should have stuck with the ho’s – we know how to keep our mouths shut. A mate of mine “knows” a well-known (and well-hung) celebrity. She’s only known him for nine and a half weeks but do you think she’ll blab? Hell no! The only time she opens her gob is when he rams his prick in.
Hiya
Isn’t it cold? Hope you guys are generating plenty of body heat to keep warm. I’m raising temperatures by wearing a foxy little coat. That doesn’t mean it’s got a tail hanging off the collar, cos the only fur I’m interested in is the one between my legs.
Hello gorgeous people
No doubt you’ve read that Belle de Jour, far from being some randy little nympho whoring it up round town, is actually a research scientist. What next? A pimp who works with the elderly or a lap-dancer who’s a member of the Synod. Jeez!
Lee: Are you real Emma or made-up?And why do you girls give us guys such a hard time when it comes to oral?
Seems my advice to Dave got at least one of you thinking….
Leslie:
Emma love your column but wasn’t sure about your advice to Dave. You should have told him to become a porn actor. If his cock’s that big, he’d go down a storm, and if he’s looking for girls who can accomodate him, ask him to drop me a line 
I’m so excited, I think I have a new career as an Agony Aunt! Seems my Halloween adventures got some of you thinking – Dave posted a comment last week asking for some advice…..
Hey you guys
Hope you had a wicked Hallowe’en.
I had an excellent time. There was a spooky moment at this party I held. Lots of treats but I think I missed a trick.
I love Hallowe’en. When I was little I was a terror. I played ‘Knock Down Ginger’ then begged for sweets. Now I usually beg for something else to go in my mouth…
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