Strictly Speaking

Eating pussy - get it right...

Yesterday a friend forwarded me the Vice Guide To Eating Pussy, and it’s possible the best (well, most entertaining) sex advice I’ve ever read.

Advice columns rarely come this hilarious, and rarely is the info given this damn honest. The language is crude and not exactly PC, but that just adds to how fully amazing this Guide is. There’s 9 stages outlined, detailed advice given and it all starts off with a rule all guys should live by:

Don’t go down unless you’re down. Unlike fellatio, cunnilingus can never be done as a favor. Doing it when you don’t want to will only bring on the dry heaves. Eat like a pig at the trough and a lot of stupid mistakes get forgiven.

I was also sent the Vice Guide To Giving Head, which was a bit of a let down – not as funny and basically stating the obvious – but the discovery of the ‘Let Me Hear You Say ‘Ungh’: The Vice Guide To Getting Reamed Up The Cake (Basically, their guide to anal sex) meant all was forgiven. Doing filthy things has never been so damn funny.

All three articles are taken from The Vice Guide To Sex and Drugs and Rock And Roll, and I now really want a copy.

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